So Christmas is less than 2 weeks away…and all things Christmassy are coming out. (OK, Christmas stuff has been out since before Halloween, but I couldn’t bear talking about it that early)
Anywho, there’s all kinds of well known and lesser know Holiday traditions. Of course there’s the big guy, Santa; the tree; the lights; the carolling; the mistletoe; the egg nog; the list goes on and on.
But one that has always made me scratch my head, is the Yule Log. Now, of course when I hear Yule Log I immediately think of my wang. I can’t help it. Oddly enough, this isn’t what a Yule Log is. So I thought, “well, if a Yule Log ain’t my log, then what the heck is it?”
So I did some checkin’. And basically a Yule Log is a log…that you burn…in the fireplace. That’s it. Oh, you burn it on or around Christmas. Now of course there’s a couple of theories about the origin of the Yule Log, but I won’t bore you with that here, you can read about it where I did…on wikipedia.
But I did find that a Yule Log can also be a chocolate cake…and no, you don’t burn it in the fireplace, you eat it…even though it’s made to look like wood.
So to sum up, this is a Yule Log:
This is also a Yule Log:
Here’s a Yule Log made from cloth for some reason…
And here’s a Yule Log you can eat:
This however is not a Yule Log:
It’s also not my wang…it is however Wang Chung. Everybody have fun tonight…with your Yule Log.
And I thought…Hmm, that’s kinda cool…but I wonder what her story is. I mean, yeah, bacon finger nails = awesome, but why would you do that? Where would you go with bacon nails? Well click on the pic and it explains what she’s up to.
And I got to thinking about how bacon has become somewhat of an internet sensation lately. I mean there’s bacon mayonaise…
Bacon candy…
And…well…there’s also this…
Look, don’t get me wrong, I love bacon. Always have. I love all sorts of bacon…canadian bacon, fried, microwaved, I even like turkey bacon. But when did bacon suddenly gain in popularity? What is causing us to take bacon and make it the center of attention in everything from cooking, to clothing, to…well as the picture above would seem to indicate…sex. And yes, I think the smell of bacon can be kinda sexy, so maybe it’s just a natural progression in the relationship between people and bacon.
Either way, I started to do some research on how many different bacon themed things are out there now a days…and it’s a lot.
I went ahead and put together a little gallery of bacon…kind of my bacon shrine if you will.
Check it out by clicking on the Bacon Bandages below. (I actually have these. Why? ‘Cause my kids are awesome)
Just in time for Halloween…or really any weekend you want to hunker down and have a scary movie marathong, it’s a list of your favorite scary movies.
We talked about it on Thursday, and this is the list you came up with…in no particular order.
The Exorcist…a classic. It don’t get no scarier than satan and a pre teen girl vomiting pea soup.
While the SFX in this might seem dated now…they were awesome back then…and still rock today in my book.
Pinhead…’nuff said.
Tim Curry as the creepy clown monster thing was down right scary…the big spider at the end…not so much.
Never saw it…but really…it has the word “Twitch” right there in the title…that’s gotta be worth something right?
More scary clowns…but these are from outer space…and spelled with a K.
Stabby, stabby…
Don’t bury your pets in the back yard…they might rise up and eat ‘cha.
Rob Zombie rockin’ the horror.
The original…Vincent Price…no Paris Hilton in this one.
A remake made the list…cool.
When the entire house is against you, things can’t be good.
Well, duh…
This one started it all…give it up for Bruce Campbell.
The Glass House is a ghost holder thingee…don’t ef with it.
Loved this movie. My current favorite scary pic.
Now…these last two are in a class all by themselves for reasons that should be apparent. First up:
OK…this guy was serious. Said it gave him night mares. When I asked how old he was when he first saw it, he said 16. Seriously…feel free to listen to the call here. It’s the last call in the bunch…
And finally this one here…
How do I explain this movie? I don’t think I can. But here’s the first sentence from Wikipedia…
Teeth is a 2007 horror-black comedy film written and directed by Mitchell Lichtenstein, about a teenage girl who has teeth in her vagina.
I can’t make that up. And if I have to explain why that movie is scary…well, then…never mind.
Thanks to everyone for calling in with your favorite movies…you guys rock
Don’t get me wrong. I like lot’s of weird things as you well know. One of the things I like is cartoons…animated TV shows. You know, everything from old school He-Man, Herculoids, and Space Ghost…to the newer Family Guy, Robot Chicken and Sponge Bob. (Don’t judge).
One of the other things I like is naked ladies. So sue me for being honest. But I gotta tell ya, I find nothing wrong with a well produced Playboy picture gallery.
It’s when those two worlds collide that I have to wonder, WTF?
See, this is the 20th anniversary of the Simpsons on TV. First, that’s a huge feat. 20 years, nice going Matt Groening!
Back on point, to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the Simpsons, Marge Simpson will not only be on the cover of Playboy, but in a nude pictoral inside the magazine. And quite frankly, I don’t know how I feel about that.
Will I pick up a copy? Uh, yeah. Why? ‘Cause I can. Seriously. Why wouldn’t you? It’s Marge Freakin’ Simpson. You can apply the car wreck analogy to this…You might not want to look, but you’re gonna and once you do you won’t be able to stop.
This isn’t some weird, poorly drawn, fan fantasy thing you see online…nope. This is Playboy with Marge Simpson.
So embrace the weirdness that is a naked Marge Simpson.
Ok…so maybe I have a slight case of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). I can deal with that. It’s how I’m wired up. I admit it. I get on these hot streaks where sometimes I can’t get a certain subject out of my head. It can be anything really.
Like a couple of weeks ago, I got obsessed with Meat Pies. (Not that, pervert) But old fashioned Meat Pie. I went online and looked up like a dozen recipes for Meat Pie. And in the span of like a week I made 3 of them. And yes, they were awesome. Do I still like Meat Pie? Yep. Have I made one since my weird little obsession? Nope. But that’s how it is with me.
Well, yesterday, I got to thinking about something, and it has become my latest focus of interest. Why? I don’t know. What is it?
Roller Derby.
Yep. Roller Derby. I don’t know exactly how I got to thinking about it, but I did…and now I can’t stop. I’ve been trying to figure out if I, or EXTRA, could get a Roller Derby team to come to town for a bout. I guess, I’d actually need two teams. Better yet, I’ve been trying figure out if I could bring a bunch of teams, like maybe 6, to town for an EXTRA 99.1 Roller Derby Championship Tournament.
Better still, I’ve been trying to figure out how I could form an all women’s Roller Derby team and start my own league. They could be like Zack’s Monkey Mafia, or Monkey Madness, or something with Monkey, Zack, Hunter or Pudding in the title.
I even went around the building, asking the fine ladies I work with if they’d be on my new Roller Derby team. So far I’m up to like 10 or so. Mandy in production was the first one to say yes, so she gets to be team captain. Ladonna from the front desk was second, so she can be like co-captain or some such. Our waitress from Sammy’s was next on the list, and then it just kinda snowballed from there.
So, will this latest obsession lead to anything? Maybe…maybe not. That’s not the point. I’m not even sure what the point is, but man; it’s been fun looking up roller derby info on the Internet. Did you know there are a bunch of Roller Derby teams within a couple hours drive? I know. I had no idea either.
So if you wanna get a Roller Derby team together, form a league, bring some teams over to town to duke it out in a derby bout, feel free to email me at zack@extra991.com
I live out in the country…kinda…lots of trees and what not. So there’s a bunch of critters running around.
Now my bedroom is on the second floor of our house. Just off our bedroom there’s a bathroom that has a door leading to a balcony. Now, since we’re upstairs, there’s not a lot of air movin’ up stairs, I’ll open the bedroom window and leave the door to the balcony open in the bathroom. And just as a note, no there isn’t a screen on the door.
Got it? Open door to the outside leading right to the bathroom right next to the bedroom.
So around Midnight this morning, I wake up. I think one of the dogs barked or some such. I was laying there for a few seconds when I realized I was hearing this weird high pitched chittering sound. I layed there for about 30 seconds and thought…”Man…that sounds kinda loud…kinda like it’s coming from the bathroom…Huh…”
So I get up…head to the bathroom and right before I turn the light on, I see one of my dogs, Two (that’s her name…long story) heading in from the balcony deck. One of my cats in heading into the bathroom and this noise is really loud now.
I turn on the light, and there, laying on the bathroom floor is a bat. Yep…a bat.
Now, I’m not sure how it ended up on the ground. Best I can figure it flew into the bathroom and then it gets kinda fuzzy. I think the cat must have tried to swat it out of the air like a moth…or the dog managed to leap and get it…or it just ran into something and fell to the ground.
Either way, I’ve got a live bat on my bathroom floor at Midnight and a cat whose trying very hard to investigate the little flying rodent.
So my wife ends up getting it into a cardboard box. She then asks me…”What should I do with it?”
All I can think is she’s going to try to keep it like she tried to keep the raccoon a couple of months ago.
I say…”Take the box out on the deck, open it up, come inside, and shut the damn door.”
So yeah…I’m not sure how I manage to find such awesome living things in my bathroom, but I do.
Maybe next time it will be a pony…or Jenna Jameson. (I hope it’s a pony).
Alright, you’re gonna have to just go with me on this one.
I was drivin’ with my son tonight, and I looked up and thought I saw a full moon. And of course the first thing I thought of were Werewolves. Right? Isn’t that what everyone thinks of when they see a full moon.
Turns out it wasn’t a full moon. But still pretty full and pretty bright. And I once again thought about werewolves. And I got to thinkin’…
Werewolf mythology says a person who suffers from lycanthropy (is a werewolf) changes into a wolf on the cycle of the full moon. OK…but what if that’s not how it happens?
What if a werewolf changes every time the moon is out…not just when it’s full.
Yes on a full moon, they would change into a full werewolf…all fur, teeth and fury.
But let’s say it’s a half moon. What if the werewolf only changed half way. So, like the left side of their body would be all wolfy and what not, but the right side would be all pink and people-y. (Or brown/tan/red/yellow…whatever the case may be, but people-y none the less)
Or when the moon is 3/4 full…then they’d wolf out, but like their left leg would be human, or some such. Now that would be cool.
This is what I imagine a were wolf would look like during a half moon if my crazy what if idea was true…and there were werewolves. (Which there are by the way, but I pretend there aren’t any so they don’t hunt me down in my sleep and do terrible things to my body and comic book collection)
See…half wolfy…half dude. That’s all I’m sayin’.
Have I mentioned that I haven’t slept much and ate a bunch of fish tonight?
OK…I think we all know that the internet is pretty awesome. And it’s filled with all kinds of neat things. And, no, I’m not talkin’ about porn.
However, there is a fair amount of porn out there on the internet…at least that’s what I’m told. The porn industry is actually partially responsible for a lot of advances in internet tech so thaks porn.
Anywho, not everything on the interwebs is naughty…but sometimes naughty seems to find it’s way into things that aren’t really meant to be naughty.
Take for instance a piece of workout equipment meant to help ladies get and keep their arms toned. It’s a little something called the Shake Weight. It uses weight and resistance and other technical type terms to firm up the arms and keep ‘em tone.
But I gotta tell ya…when you see this thing demoed…it looks…well…kinda naughty.
For one thing, these ladies are gripping it with both hands in front of them and the things shakes. Literally shakes up and down. You really have to see it.
So I’m a geek. Or a nerd. I’m not exactly sure which…probably a geek with some nerd tendencies.
And I’m completely fine with that. Really. Most geeks are pretty good joes. Of course you will find those folks who fit the stereotype to a T. You know the ones I’m talking about. The overweight dude who wears black T-Shirts with a dragon on ‘em, sweat pants, hi-tops with the laces undone, and hair that is in need of a) washing b) styling c) cutting. Oh, and he probably needs a shower…badly.
Now there are some variations on this theme…the guy who wears a long coat all the time…the guy who wears a cape on special occasions…the guy who wears his Indiana Jones hat all the time…I could go on.
But that’s not the point. The point is, it’s ok to be a geek. As a matter of fact, I think we should all embrace our geekiness a little bit more.
Like this past weekend, out in San Diego it was the Comic Con International…and it was a big deal. One day I will make it out there.
Now, why would I, an awesome rock morning gawd, want to go to Comic Con? Mainly because it’s got comics…duh. But also because it’s becoming quite the pop culture event. Movie and TV stars are there a plenty. You can find the latest on comics, gaming, movies, tv, sci-fi, fantasy and more all at Comic Con.
And then there’s the girls.
What?
You didn’t know there were girls? Oh yeah. There are. And not just hired booth babes either. But girls who like this kind of stuff. And also girls who like to dress up and go to things like this. Don’t believe me?
See what I mean? And that’s just the tip of the iceberg so to speak.
So yesterday during the show, my cellphone rings. Now normally, I don’t pay a whole lot of attention to my cell phone while I’m on the air, but I saw it was my wife and I thought something may be wrong.
Here’s how that call went down.
Zack: Hey hon, what’s up?
Wife: Guess what I’m holding?
Zack: Make it quick.
Wife: A baby raccoon.
——– pause ——–
Zack: I’ll call you back.
So after a while I call her back and ask the question, “So why were you holding a baby raccoon?”
Wife: ‘Cause it was in the yard. I think it fell out of the tree
Zack: And where is it now?
Wife: I’m holding it.
Zack: Where are you?
Wife: Walking around the house.
Zack: Inside?
Wife: Yeah…
——— pause ———–
Zack: What the hell are you doing with a baby raccoon in the house?
Wife: It’s so cute! You should see it!
This is basically how my conversations with my wfe went for the rest of the day.
Oh…and she’s leaving for work so can I check in and take care of it while she’s gone?
Zack: You know, today is a really crappy day for me to be checking up on a baby raccoon!
Wife: It’s not a great day for me either, but it’s not like I had a choice.
———- another pause ———–
Zack: You picked it up!
Wife: What else was I supposed to do?
Zack: I don’t know? Leave it in the yard so it’s mom can come get it!
————- another pause ————
Wife: Well, I’m sorry.
So what’s the upshot to all this? I got home, saw the raccoon (yes it was really cute), the wife fed it some milk type food, and we put it back outside for mom to come get.
Sure enough, once the sun went down, out came mom (with three more kits with her) to find baby.
Baby Raccoon, who I named Cooper, climbed up the tree.
Hopefully, mom, baby, sisters and brothers are all back together living the raccoon-y life they were meant to.
So if you have anything small, cute and furry and want to keep it…keep it away from my wife or it might end up in my bathroom
